


Living another's life

by Demondogweed



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abuse, Character Death, implied murders, minor gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 22:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3305315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demondogweed/pseuds/Demondogweed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In White Spire, a spirit meets a starving boy. One of the two dies peacefully away, and the other has to make a life out of what the other left behind. </p><p>----</p><p>A collection of events in the life of Cole the Spirit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue-The Forgotten Boy

Cole woke up, groggily at first. He took deep breaths as his body slowly started to inform him of its state. Another deep breath was cut short into horrible coughs and he could taste blood on his lips. The fit took a while to settle, and the young boy curled into a ball as it went through him. As soon as it was over, he opened his eyes. Useless gesture, as he knew there was nothing to see. There was only the unending darkness that greeted him.  
  
Cole tried to sit up, but another set of shivers and coughs took over him. He wanted so bad to yell for help, but when he opened his mouth he could only groan and wheeze. His mouth tasted like blood, after a while he had  been too tired to drink moisture from the stones and so he had began to drink his own blood. His fingers hurt now from the desperate bites, and in the end his stomach hurt now worse from before. Cole felt through his thin and weak body, underneath the rags that his clothes had become. He knew it was still with him, he had hidden it from the templars. As he found the dagger in his trousers, Cole breathed a sigh of relief. As long as he had it, he was safe from harm.  
  
That's what his hunger and thrist addled twelve year old mind told him, even as he felt another hunger pang hit his stomach. He had entertained thoughts of using it on himself when he felt the worst. To end the pain and in his own terms. But every time he was about to reach for the dagger, Cole remembered the bad day and he regained some of his courage. No, he would not kill himself and give his father satisfaction beyond the grave. He would get out of here and he would survive, his mother's dagger was all the quarantee he needed. Cole breathed again, this time only wheezing.  
  
He had no concept of time in his dark cell, only the respite of sleep and the rare moments when he woke to seek any sustenance he could. Cole groaned and tried to heave himself up again, managing to support himself just a bit with his hand, before he felt them give out. But as they did, he didn't fall back to the hard floor. Something was supporting him.  
  
Some _one_ was supporting him.  
  
Cole tensed, trying to reach for his dagger and cut whatever held him. But then he coughed another fit, and felt a hand touch his head. Cole's heart began to pound hard in his chest, he didn't see anyone here with him.  
  
"Shhh, little one, do not fear" came a voice, devoid of any accent or inflection. Cole winced, shaking. _A demon? Maker, was a demon trying to come and make him an abomination now?_  
  
"I am no demon, little one. I heard your pain, I want to help" spoke the voice again, brushing Cole's hair. Cole wanted to push whatever was holding him away, but he couldn't move. Was the demon holding him down? Cole tried to move again, managing to shift his position in the creature's hands a bit. But that was all he could do. No, he was just tired. Too tired to care that he had not spoken a word yet the creature had answered him all the same. Cole thought of his mother and Bunny, smiling weakly. That seemed to excite the creature as Cole felt warmer in its arms.  
  
"Warmth of her smile, she calls me by name. Cole, you are called Cole, little one?" the creature asked him. Cole tried to nod, managing to move his head a bit. Maybe this creature wasn't too bad after all, it had not hit him yet.  
  
Yes, this was good, this was right. Cole relaxed, but startled as he felt the creature lift him up. Not hard, but it was still jarring. Cole looked around in the brief moment of clarity he had gained. Still nothing. He heard sharp claws scratch the cell walls.  
"No locks, no keys. How to open the door?" it mused to Cole, holding him tightly still. Cole gave a weak groan, knowing there was no way to get out from the inside.  
"Why does a door go one way, but not another?" was his answer, Cole really didn't care. He was safe in the arms of this thing.  
  
The creature looked for a way out for a while, never letting go of Cole. It wanted to help him, clearly. But it didn't know how. Cole listened the creature work, growing more and more tired, his eyes closing slowly. The creature seemed to sense his sleep holding him closer.  
"Cole, don't sleep. You won't wake from it. Let me help" it said, Cole chuckled tiredly. He took few breaths, as he felt sleep closing in on him.  
"Thhannkkhh....... yoouuhh" he rasped, coughing again. The creature seemed to shake, Cole though he heard it say something more. But the comforting sleep overtook him.  
  
Compassion watched as the little human, Cole, fell to the fade's dreams for the last time. It shook from fear, shaking the little body in its arms. But Cole was all ready with the Maker. Compassion hissed, its claws digging into the stony floor. It still could feel all the hurt and pain from Cole. How the old songed Templars had locked him here, how his father had hurt him. And how Cole had wanted to get out, had planned to get out. And had been so close, at least to Compassion.  
"Damn their deaf ears, Maker damn them all" Compassion growled, thinking. It could not let Cole die and disappear, it could -not- let itself fall into despair. The spirit held the still warm body, drinking the fading memories. It was then it chose its direction. If it could not help Cole, it would take his form and fulfil his wish.  
Compassion placed its invisible hand on Cole's forehead, drinking deep of the corpse. It drank as much as it could, taking all Cole was. But what Cole was was breaking, hurting. It hurt Compassion so much to know and feel what the little human had.  
  
It never got to know when it had gotten enough, for the memory of the bad day broke it. It broke it, tore it apart from all the fear and despair. But it reformed, into the boy that now lay dead next to it. Compassion shook from the cold, eyes opening wide from fear.  
  
Compassion had taken a gamble and won, but at a hefty price.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few notes;
> 
> Cole came to the White Spire around the age of twelve or thirteen, but his age at his death is never stated. I chose to follow the theory that he was twelve when he was forgotten.
> 
> The Compassion spirit that became Cole the spirit was a pretty powerful one, you'll see why in the next few chapters.


	2. Chapter 1- Learning and Forgetting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that it has taken Cole's place, the amnesiac Compassion has to learn to become the young man. But can it, when it doesn't even remember what it once was?

At the start, it followed its instincts. It had woken up in a dark place, shaking and afraid, it didn't know why it had been there. The Creature only knew that it was dark and that its only friend was a hard but soft thing next to it. It had been cold so the Creature had borrowed its friend's rags. And kept its sharp thing safe, as it felt the metal thing was important.  
  
It didn't know why its friend began to smell, but it did not mind it. It chased rats off the friend when the rats crawled too close. The Creature ate few when it was hungry, but it didn't need to. It just watched and waited with its friend, happy in their comfort and silence.  
  
Until, the humans of the old  and quiet song came to the dark place and brought light. The Creature feared them, but they did not see it. They only saw its friend, and they screamed at it. The Creature was too afraid of pain to help as the humans dragged its friend from it. But it followed them outside, because that's what it felt it needed to do. It disappeared into the depths of the dark pit.  
  
The creature slept and ate in the darkness, as it slowly started to remember who it was. It was called Cole, yes. Cole who was a boy, because he wasn't a girl. He was from Ferelden, he had his mother's knife. It all made sense, at least in his head. Cole wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. He knew he had planned to escape his cell, but he didn't remember why. So he started to follow any voices he heard. Memories told him other humans and elves would respond to him. Yet, they never did. He could only watch and listen to them.  
  
Luckily, he remembered more as he listened. He was in the Pit, in White Spire Circle of Magi. Templars, the men of old song, had taken him there because he was a mage himself. The thought made his skin crawl, and he escaped it by wandering in the Pit. The place became all he knew, his own little world. He hunted in the library, he rested under the old rotting tables. It was a simple life, but it was good. Cole didn't care much about over thinking things.  
  
But time passed. And though Cole could not always tell its passing in his dark kingdom, his body did. At first, he could comfortably fit under most tables. But as he grew, it became harder and harder to fit anywhere well at all. He also had to get new rags not to be cold, from the mages who came to spend time in the Pit. They often took their clothes off, as did the Templars who sometimes joined them. Cole took whatever they had given up, even if the clothes didn't always fit him.  
  
Time passing brought another surprise, Cole's memory became clearer. He now knew more what everything was and could plan better when he hunted. He even sometimes stole the cell guards' food when he hadn't had luck with rats. Good thing nobody saw him, at least at first. With a more complex mind, Cole began to miss speaking with others.  He also began to wonder why he wasn't noticed, wasn't he real? It was all confusing, and memories returning didn't help at all.  
  
Eventually, he became convinced he was a ghost. Not dead, but not alive either. Sometimes others saw him, but they always felt desperate, wrong. Like he needed to go and help them. Cole was unsure why, but he knew how to end the pain. He remembered hunting a bit before he came to the Pit, and he knew the sounds of pain well. He had been in pain himself, he had no idea how he had escaped it but he knew..  
  
And as the abyss began to call him, Cole needed to be seen.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few notes;
> 
> It was never stated how Compassion left the cell, but I'd imagine it wasn't instant. 
> 
> Cole grew up in a farm in the middle of nowhere, with his mother assumed to be from the avvar tribes. He'd know at least the basics of survival, and Compassion is using those skills now.
> 
> And yes, the fade spirit went through puberty in the Spire. I chose not to include any sexual stuff because it would have distracted from the flow of the story, but you can assume Cole had few nasty surprises here and there XD
> 
> I chose the leave the events of Asunder out, so the story continues from the very end of the book in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 2- Outside the Pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Asunder, Cole has to once again pick the pieces of his previous life and find a purpose.

One bizarre thought came to Cole as he dragged the corpse of Seeker Lambert into the privy. What was he even doing here? Rhys had told him not to kill, that killing was wrong. Yet, here he was, with a body and trying to hide it. He knew if the body was found, Rhys would get in trouble. But he had still killed, and in cold blood. The thought made him shiver, he didn't want to be a demon.  
  
Cole opened the door of the castle privy, trusting that his spirit magic would keep him hidden. It usually did, now that he had more control of it. Now that he knew he wasn't a human. With a heave, down went the Lord Seeker, straight into the brown and dark mess below. Cole allowed himself a brief moment of satisfaction. Serves his right to end up dead in the dark, like the original Cole had.  
  
Cole grumbled, wiping his hands a bit on his clothes. Remembering who he really was had been a shock, but it was also a small comfort. He had gotten what he wished, he had become Cole. But what was he to do now that he knew? Escaping would be a good first, he thought. Cole jumped out of the nearest open window he saw, and ran as far as he could from the keep. He knew nobody could see him, but it didn't stop his heart pounding in his chest. Well, that was the first thing he had to do, stop reacting like a human to things. It would be a hard road, he had eight years of memories from the Pit as a 'human'. But now he knew better.  
  
The outside world was so large and confusing to him. As Cole wandered unseen , he heard of the mage rebellion. Cole wished luck to all those mages, even if it was  because of the original Cole had been a mage . He had, though, began to figure out what he was good at. He once heard the worries of a baker in a town, like he was reading the man's mind. When Cole had given the man some solace in the form of a flower, he had felt good. Like he was doing something right.  
  
Helping people became his way of connecting with humans, it was easy now that he knew how to do it. Sure, a lot of them were confused when he made them forget. But he took note how they reacted to it and learned the optimal way to appear and disappear. Of course, there were always those who needed his 'help' in a different way. Some people were just bad, like the Lord Seeker, and so Cole gave them a quick death. At first, he had used the dagger he had carried with him through Spire and beyond. But it held far too many memories to be used so easily. Even though he was not the real Cole, he still didn't want to abuse his mother's memory so. So he took new knives at the next blacksmith's shop. He gave something back, of course. The diary of the man's deceased wife though lost.  
  
Of course, he still had to get new clothes when his current ones started to tear too much. His gifts were not always the best fit for the person, but he hoped they still would be  enough. Sometimes, Cole even took the clothes from the bad men he killed. And after he learned to sew, he replaced parts that had broken with new cloth. His jerkin ended up  looking quite bizarre, but Cole took solace in the fact that nobody  saw him.  
  
The hat was another story, though. It was made by an apprentice armourer, who had not quite understood what a helmet was. The master armourer had yelled and beaten the poor boy so badly Cole had to step in. He could make the master armourer's next meal  unfortunate with a few rats, but the apprentice was harder to console. So Cole  put the hat on his head, saying that he liked it. He did like it, though, even if the young man who made it wouldn't remember. To Cole, the hat made him look strange enough that nobody looked at his face or eyes. That was always good, he didn't want to become what he once was. He still shivered when he heard someone say 'Look into my eyes'.  
  
Cole's journey would have continued, if the sky hadn't  opened up and spat put demons all over Theddas. Cole could feel the hurt and pain from each breach, as the openings became known. But more hurt was created by the loss of a lot of Important People, at least so he heard. Mages and templars were now  warring in the Hinterlands, causing a lot of damage. And, worst of all, there was a new Lord Seeker. Cole didn't want to get involved, he was just getting used to being himself. But, he still felt responsible for the death of the last Lord Seeker. And if the Templars were making lives of mages worse, he had to do something.  
  
He headed for Therinfal, to find out what the Templars were planning.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few notes;
> 
> Keep/castle privies were pretty nasty places, essentially wooden structures in the side of the castle with a large drop to either right outside the castle or to a pit. Lambert's body was never found, so its likely he ended up in the pit version.
> 
> The hat's origin is pretty much made up here, as I figured it was not Cole's own project. 
> 
> I'll maybe have one or two more chapters after this, depending on the response I'll get.


End file.
